You’ve Got to Have Friends

There’s nothing worse than being the weak link in a tag team.

Seriously.

As you will undoubtedly remember, my debut match for BGEast was a tag match on Masked Mayhem 2, where I joined my bud Maxx Thunder in the ring to take on two big, beautiful studs, Drew Russell and Alexi Adamov.

I never really thought I’d enjoy a tag match, but with Maxx at my back and those two beautiful men in their skimpy baby blue bikinis on the other side of the ring…I could feel my cock stirring in my trunks and the desire to see those handsome hunks suffer rising in my loins.

If you’ve seen the match, you’ll also know that I was the weak link in Team Thunder, only insofar as Alexi caught me off guard at one point–never get cocky, no matter how easy the match has seemed so far–and put me through the ringer, even tagging big Drew Russell in to add to my humiliations. He eventually got me to submit, too, the big bitch.

Team Thunder eventually triumphed, beating the crap out of the two big pretty boys.

I still regret not getting a ring match with Alexi, just the two of us–I still remember the great joy he took in torturing me when had the chance, and while there was definitely some payback in that match, I’ve always wondered how a singles match with the two of us would turn out.

Well, not really. I would have handed Alexi his ass, like I did Drew when we got into the ring for a singles match. It’s more that I’m disappointed that the fans didn’t get a chance to see me handling Alexi by myself, playing his body like a drum.

It would have been a classic.

I never did another tag match for BGEast–although I came close a couple of times. That’s another regret of mine; it would have been awesome to team up with, say, the Enforcer and take on a team like Patrick Donovan and Mitch Colby.

And I found myself enjoying watching tag matches–like Brute Baynard & Matt Thrasher taking on Morgan Cruise and Damien Rush on Tag Team Torture 19.

(to be continued)

Small Packages

I

So, before I get back to talking about my match with Cole Cassidy, let’s spend some time appreciating him, shall we?

Despite the way his charisma and personality make him seem larger than life on camera–and in pictures–he’s shorter than I am: 5’8 and weighs 166 pounds. Despite the small stature, let me assure you in all my years as a fan, I never noticed his size.

He always loomed large to me.

Maybe it’s the viciousness? Or did giving up size to his opponents turn him vicious? Some mysteries will never be solved.

I am sure no small part of his presence has to do with the extraordinary vascularity of his impressive musculature. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone before (outside of bodybuilding competitions) with such exceptional size and defined so perfectly. Look at the veins roadmapping his quads, his lower abs, arms and shoulders.

Fuck me.

I would literally have to work out every day and exist solely on protein shakes for a year to get that cut and vascular.

The sunglasses are a nice touch, and even when he smiles…you never completely relax…

Plus, he does the evil cowboy look perfectly, and that’s a button for me.

He often surrenders size to his opponents–Mitch Colby, Powergunz, Alexi Adamov and Drew Russell all come to mind, out of the scores of people he’s beaten the shit out of for BGEast–but the advantage you’d think this would give his opponents is negligible.

He can cut an opponent down to size pretty fucking fast.

As I said, before I met and got into the ring with him, he was kind of an idol of mine. He still is–I still enjoy watching him cut some arrogant muscleboy off at the knees and making them whimper and plead for mercy–and after wrestling him, I admired him even more.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Sin of Narcissus

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope; which I suppose would have made him a demi-god? Narcissus was beautiful; known far and wide for it, so beautiful that people often fell madly in love with him just by seeing him. Narcissus, however, never loved anyone back and in fact, held his admirers in contempt. Nemesis, seeing this pride and disdain in him, lured him to a reflecting pool; Narcissus caught sight of his own reflection and fell in love with his own image…to the point he refused to leave and eventually wasted away.

It’s easy to imagine Narcissus looking like Mitch Colby.

This debut, against Alexi Adamov at arguably his most sexy, was most auspicious. As much as I lusted after Alexi, as much as I wanted him to face me in the ring, I kept having my eyes drawn back to the ripped, older muscle hunk packed into a tiny neon orange and yellow bikini that didn’t disguise the big bulge in the front and showed off the hard muscle ass in the back.

And the sweat. My God, he was drenched in it, making every definition in his glistening muscles that much more obvious.

Alexi was also a big time sweat-monster. So it wasn’t long before both of them were soaking wet, slaking it off themselves as they fought nastily on the mats in the gazebo. Alexi, despite rarely winning a match, is intimidated by no one, doesn’t ever back down, and has crazy mad skills.

Alexi is not, as I have said before, a small guy. Neither is Mitch. There’s some trash talking as they check each other out, see who’s bigger…and of course, Alexi points out that Mitch is older: “What are you man, in your forties?”

As someone who had just starting wrestling for BGEast at forty-five…that made me want to see the blue-eyed blond put a major hurt on Sexy Alexi…as well as put one on him myself.

Mitch and Sexy Alexi were pretty evenly matched, despite the size and age advantage going to Alexi. It’s a great battle, back and forth, lots of action and lots of brutality…and lots of beautiful bodies being put through the ringer.

Look at those muscles, glistening with sweat.

And never mistake Alexi for a jobber whose an easy beatdown. He fights dirty, too.

And when I finished watching…I wanted to fight them both.

Muscle

I think it was in the late fall of 2006 that Mitch Colby made his BGEast debut. This was back in that time after Hurricane Katrina, when I’d jumped into underground pro-wrestling with both feet and was traveling a lot; having matches everywhere I went and had already done my first work with BGEast. I’d also started writing up matches for the on-line catalogues; rough drafts that were polished and revised for the better by the Boss before they went live. As someone who’d already by that time become a huge fan of Sexy Alexi, you can imagine my thrill to get the preview of Wrestler Spotlight: Alexi Adamov in the mail to write copy for; and when I got to the third match…I was stunned to see his opponent, Mitch Colby.

 

Wow, right? That tiny little day-glo orange bikini with the yellow trim would come to be known as his trademark gear.

Alexi wasn’t exactly looking like a slouch, himself.

Alexi has always looked great. He was already putting on some of the size I’d see looking at me from across the ring a few months after this was filmed. And I’d seen Colby’s transformation already; he was on a couple of wrestling websites already. He’d been huskier, but had trimmed down and gotten ripped.

And they were meeting in the gazebo on a hot, humid afternoon.

Which meant sweat.

And a lot of it.

Tagging

Growing up, tag teams matches were always fun to watch. I loved the idea of double-teaming a helpless opponent, the way some teams seemed to work together seamlessly, and it was always a fantasy of mine to do a tag match. I never had the chance to do so privately; finding a single opponent is hard enough without trying to coordinate a match involving three other people. Hell, even coordinating a tag match for the cameras isn’t easy; I did at least one planned tag match that devolved because someone didn’t show up–pity the poor opponent who took on me and my partner alone.

But that’s a tale for another time.

I flew down to Fort Lauderdale for a taping at the BGEast Southern compound the day after Thanksgiving. I wasn’t sure it was wise getting in front of the cameras after spending the previous day stuffing myself on my mother’s cooking, but you don’t say no when the Boss summons you. I was also a bit excited because this would be my first taping wearing the mask.

In other words, becoming the heel I was meant to be.

In all honesty, I never saw myself as a heel; but the Boss saw me in a picture wearing a mask as a joke and reinvented me on the spot. It was this picture, I believe:

The whole outfit was meant to be just funny, really; another wrestler had given me the trunks and when I showed them to one of my buddies, he pulled out the mask and gloves and we took a set of pictures. I sent one to the Boss as a joke…and thus the masked heel was born.

I wasn’t sure who was on the roster for me to tape with that weekend, but I met my buddy Maxx Thunder at the airport.

I was pretty thrilled to find out I was going to meet–and wrestle–Alexi that weekend.

When I met him I was surprised. He was a lot bigger than I’d thought. For some reason, I thought he was maybe my height and weight, if not smaller. I was WRONG, by a long shot. He was 6’4 and was in a bulking phase, so was weighing in around 220. I am 5’11, and at the time was maybe 185 on a heavy day.

And his tag partner, Drew Russell, was about the same size.

I was the runt in the ring.

This match was a lot of fun, and I had been right about Alexi–he had mad ring skills, was tough, and JFC, was he ever strong. Maxx and I were having a great time beating them down when Alexi pulled the rug out from under me–literally–slamming to the mat back-first…and then kept working over my back.

Hey, I’m freakishly flexible, but even I have limits.

And for someone who got his ass kicked a lot, he sure liked to taunt and humiliate me.

I eventually submitted to the bastard. In the next go round, I had to go back and meet him in the ring again, and once again…it looked like I was a goner until my buddy Maxx, like a true partner, came to my rescue.

And all was right with the world again.

I’ve always regretted not having a one-on-one fight with Sexy Alexi.

 

Russia Boy

Ah, Sexy Alexi.

Nice, right? Not a damned thing wrong there, not a single flaw. An almost boyishly innocent face, chiseled torso, thick arms, nice legs…the bulge isn’t a disappointment, either.

Sexy Alexi first appeared at BGEast during The Contract series, I believe–at least that’s when he first came to my attention–and my second thought was I want to get in the ring with him (the first was Jesus fucking Christ what a stud). 

My third thought was, damn, Brad Rochelle looks amazing in those skimpy trunks.

And then there’s that ass, right?

The premise of The Contract series was that Brad–long one of the company’s biggest stars and whipping boys (he without fail seemed to always get his ass kicked; he and his gorgeous body always suffered so beautifully)–agreed to come back to BGEast only under certain conditions and circumstances, which he wanted spelled out in a contract. The Boss, being the Boss, initially agreed, only to turn the biggest heels in the company loose on Brad, now trapped in the compound. (This series may have also been The Enforcer’s debut.) But when the Boss went off to Florida…Brad took over and took control and released his own inner heel. Poor Alexi showed up for an audition…and it wasn’t long before Alexi had taken Brad’s place as sexiest sufferer in the company. I always enjoyed watching him suffer…and it wasn’t like he wasn’t a great wrestler, either. He just never seemed to be able to hold it together to win. His match with Jonny Firestorm in the yard was a particular favorite of mine.

God, he’s gorgeous.

So, when I started getting in front of the cameras he was on my wish-list….

(to be continued)